People who know me call me adventurous. I have climbed the Andes, hitchhiked around Spain and trekked the Himalaya through thigh-deep snow in March. But those people haven’t met my daughter. Compared to Taylor, I’m a TV-surfing couch potato.
I’ve encouraged and embraced Taylor’s adventures vicariously, from the year she learned to scuba dive in Indonesia to her work with the U.S. Forest Service on a remote Alaskan island. Nope, I didn’t like getting those emails reporting that she had nearly gotten the bends under water, or hearing about her close encounters with grizzly bears, but I always believed that Taylor was sensible and smart and would find her way home.
This, though, feels different. This past weekend, Taylor left as a Peace Corps Volunteer—part of her master’s degree program at Oregon State University—destined not for South America, where I thought they would surely send her because she speaks Spanish, but for Senegal, West Africa. As in, the part of Africa where the World Health Organization is predicting that there will be 21,000 people afflicted with the Ebola virus before it’s fully contained. (If, that is, they can contain it at all.) The Peace Corps pulled its volunteers from the three West African countries with the most cases—Liberia, Sierra Leone, and Guinea—but, since Senegal has so far seen only one patient with the virus, the organization is continuing its work there.
Good for them. I just wish my daughter weren’t one of their volunteers.
Taylor, though, could not be dissuaded from going. She believes in promoting sustainable agriculture efforts worldwide and is invested in learning more about population ecology and agroforestry. Nothing could prepare her better for a career in that arena better than working on projects through the Peace Corps. Plus, everyone she knows who has been in the Peace Corps says the same thing: It will transform your life.
Good for her. But I just want her to come home.
Often, however, we mothers have to step aside and sweep our fears under the rug. I believe, with all my heart, that the Peace Corps is absolutely right to continue their projects in Senegal and other African countries. Those countries need international assistance now more than ever.
And I do know that Taylor will come home transformed, because her world perspective will be both broader and deeper. In return, perhaps the people she meets in Senegal will know more about people from the U.S.–an essential cultural exchange, since we are all sharing the same fragile planet and its limited resources.
I am proud, terrified, joyful and amazed by my daughter all at once, every day. I wish she would come home right now, but I hope she stays in West Africa. If she does, the Peace Corps and her work in Senegal will shape her into the person she is already becoming: a woman who not only wants to do well in life, but one who is committed to doing good in the world. A daughter who fills her mother’s heart with love.
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I almost can’t find words to respond to this but yes, amen. and again, yes, amen.
Between the rock and the hard place is a mother’s heart.
Hi Holly,
I very much enjoyed reading your post on your daughter. I too sent my son Jake to Senegal on Friday. Unlike you, no one has ever referred to me as an adventurer, a traveler maybe, but not a risk taker. Our family has traveled many places in the world, and even lived in Singapore for 5 years which afforded us the ability to travel all over Southeast Asia. We generally do not “rough” it. Jake on the other hand is a creature from a different time and place. He would have been happier born in the 60’s and living in the 70’s, a simpler time, and he is definitely a hippy! He is comfortable living on little and giving 100% of his self to others. Sorry for all of this history, but I wanted to tee up my last tearful words that I whispered to him on eve of his departure…which were, “I am scared…”
I am scared for his safety, his health and his survival in an ever increasing arena of risk. I know intellectually that he has so much to share and learn in Africa(he is in the agri-forestry section), and that essentially it is a positive adventure that he is undertaking, but in my heart I am afraid. So, I will keep you and your daughter Taylor in my thoughts and prayers as well. Wishing you all the best. Lisa Brougham
You’ve done a great job as a mom to have given your child the confidence to go so far. It’s encouraging that the Peace Corps seems to be on top of this and will pull their volunteers if necessary. I’ll be thinking of you both and wishing Taylor an amazing adventure <3
Holly,
I would be scared shitless (can I say that on here). So my thoughts and prayers are for your daughter. But stay strong and have faith. She is doing a lot of good and I’m sure powers higher than us will watch out for her.
Holly! Of course you are proud and terrified. Great essay.
A great mother has raised a great daughter and your hearts will beat together from wherever you are on the globe. I’m sure she has inherited all your “smarts” and will be safe and make you proud…again and again.
My heart feels like it is peeling away after reading this. I can only imagine the fear. And, to have to hold it for years, with nothing you can do but wait. I send you love, and send up prayers that all of Taylor’s best hopes are realized and none of our fears come true. May this beautiful, intelligent, young woman have a fully positive, safe experience as she offers assistance to our kin in Africa.
(Lisa Broughman for Jake, as well.)
Holly, I would be scared as well, but there are times when a mother has to put her faith in God. Congratulations on parenting such an amazing daughter. I am keeping Taylor and you in my prayers.
You’re an amazing mother and Taylor is an awesome girl (woman). I’m truly in awe of you both and very grateful for Taylor’s service to Senegal and the world. What if every young (and old) person was as brave and committed as she is? The whole world would be transformed in record time. All my respect to Taylor and her wondrous Mom.