You know how it is: you get up in the morning and grumble because there’s too much to do. The dog wants a walk. You have to crowbar the kids off to school despite their whining. The breakfast dishes need to be washed and there’s traffic to fight on your way to work.
Another day goes by, and another and another, with occasional bright spots: that weekend hike, dinner with friends, accomplishments at work.
“How are you?” people ask.
“Fine,” you answer. Or, maybe if it’s a good friend: “Busy and overwhelmed, but okay.”
And everything really is fine, until it’s not.
Recently, my husband was trying to buy a toilet at Home Depot when the credit card machines crashed. He had the toilet, some lumber, and some tools. When it became clear that the machines weren’t going to work any time soon, he put everything back—even the toilet, although that meant lifting it up onto a shelf.
Dan banged his elbow in the process. “That really hurts,” he said when he came home.
“You should have let someone help you,” I scolded.
His elbow got bigger. And then redder. Two days later, his elbow looked like a clown’s nose attached to his arm. He started to run a fever. Fortunately, Dan had a doctor’s appointment on Monday because his knee was bothering him. The doctor took one look at the elbow and put him on oral antibiotics.
Things didn’t improve. His fever persisted and his arm continued swelling. The redness spread from his wrist to his underarm. Last Wednesday, Dan ended up being hospitalized with an antibiotic-resistant staph infection, the sort of bacteria that can go systemic and kill you pretty quickly.
We were lucky. We live near doctors and hospitals. Laboratories can do magical things like culture bacteria from your body and determine which drugs will kill it. Dan stayed in the hospital for five days, having IV-antibiotic treatments, and came home with a tube through his veins connected to an infusion pump that dispenses antibiotics every four hours.
He’ll have that pump for a few more weeks, and wears it in an oversize black fanny pack. “I look like a tourist,” he complains.
I tell him he looks like a rock climber. “Just clip some carabiners on the outside,” I suggest, “and chalk your hands.”
We keep joking about the pack, which he has to take to bed with him. He hangs it on the bed while he sleeps. The pump makes whirring and beeping noises like the Roomba vacuum we used to have that committed kamikaze on the scarves dangling in my closet. We’ve named it “Robert.”
We joke, but every time I hear the pump whir, I look at my husband and remind myself that everything is fine in life, until one day it isn’t. My husband made it through this. Others don’t. And who knows what’s around the corner for us? Life always has surprises in store.
“Pray for boring days,” my grandmother used to say.
I never really knew what she meant. Now, I think I do. As I lean my head against Dan’s shoulder, I am reminded that what really matters aren’t how many tasks you cross off your list, or even your accomplishments, but the beating of your loved one’s heart.
46 Comments
What a blessing he’s going to be all right, Holly. You are so very right about what really matters.
Thank you so much, Edith!
Omg! How scary! So happy Dan is going to be okay!!
Omg! How scary Holly! I bet it’s a long time before he goes back to Home Depot! So happy Dan is going to be okay!
Thank you, Susan. And, yes, I think it’ll be a while before he’s back to doing any carpentry!
This is a beautiful post, Holly–and such a reminder that as we run, breakneck, through our lives (maybe I shouldn’t have used the word “breakneck”) that there are lots more important things than whether we met that word count or got the dishes done, or looked at our Amazon numbers. (Eeek!) So glad that Dan is better and that there are such things as pumps in the world that know how to dispense antibiotics as needed…and also that there are good friends like you to cherish. Thank you for writing this!
Thank you so much, my dear friend–you’ve helped me get through all of this and more!
Prayers, good wishes and golden white light to Dan and to you, Holly. (I’m going to borrow your grandmother’s wise saying with the hope that my grandchildren will eventually attribute it to me!)
Carol
Such sweet sentiments, Carol–and I love the phrase “golden white light.” I’m very sure your grandchildren will be glad to have your wisdom on this and on many other things!
Yes, praying for boring days! I so like that! Wise grandmother!
Thank you very much, Nita. Yes, she was one of the best grandmothers a girl could ever have!
I am so happy he is on the road to recovery. I like your Grandmothers words – I am enjoying the boring days. Xo
Thank you so much, Meg–I’m very glad you’re in a place where your days are more boring, after all you’ve been through!
What a scary thing! I’m glad he us okay now. Things like this really remind us how precious each day is, and how thankful we should all be for boring, humdrum days.
Ah, yes, Susan, and you know this lesson better than most! Thank you, sweetie.
Oh, how terrible! You are so right; we need to remind ourselves to enjoy every minute. And we are lucky to have good medical care. Still, what a frightening experience. Richard and I went through something similar 18 months ago, and it changed us. Love to you both!
I had no idea, Sonja. Thank you for sharing that, and for your good wishes!
Poor Dan and poor you! Very scary stuff. I’m happy he’s home and resting in his own house.
Thank you, Carla!
Oh Holly, so glad he’s going to be okay…I know someone who lost a leg, and almost died from this.
You’re right – we never know what tomorrow will bring – so appreciate everything today!
Oh, gosh, Laura, that’s horrible! I’m so sorry! Thank you for your good wishes. They mean the world.
Sadly, I’m well aware how quick this lesson hits. My sister died last September from multiple infections. It was devastating, and quick, and yes, a painful reminder of what truly matters. My writing community has been instrumental to my well being, supporting me through the dark days with their love and kindness. I’d be lost without them.
I’m happy to hear Dan is recovering. Warmest regards-Lynne
Ah, Lynne, I am so very sorry for your loss, and glad that you have such a supportive community. Thank you for your best wishes. Right back at ya–and again, my condolences. Such a terribly sad thing.
When things are suddenly not right, we want to wind back the clock to when they were and hopefully skip the bad that seeps into our lives. I am so happy to hear your hubby is doing fine and your life is getting back on track.
Thank you so very much, Michelle. That means a lot.
Sometimes the Universe gives us a reality check. Glad to hear that your reality check had a happy ending. Hope your husband continues to do well.
You’re so right, Beverly. Thank you!
Well said Holly. I hope the recovery continues to go well! Let us know when he’s fully in the clear.
Thank you so much, Andrew. He’s definitely on the mend now, but it has been a scary week.
Beautifully said, Holly. My husband had a similar experience with cellulitis on his face. In one day, it was a very serious situation. Love the adage “pray for boring days.” I will remember that one! Glad your husband is healing.
Oh, Ann Marie, that sounds dreadful!
Your Grandmother was a wise lady. Thankful your husband is alright.
I appreciate your kind words, Sarah!
Glad to hear Dan’s doing okay. Hope you have some boring days, and some exciting writing. Keep being awesome.
Bill
Thank you so much, Bill!
Good grief Holly, that had to have been a frightening experience…it makes one wonder if your husband hadn’t hit his elbow returning all those things…would he have gotten that horrible infection, or is it one of those blessings in disguise that it was noticed as soon as it spread because of the accident? Never boring for sure. I just know how scary those staph infections can be…my husband had several due to his medical conditions, and its never been clear how or where they got started but the hospital was a real suspect in some of the cases, not all. So glad your husband is ok….yes that tops the list for being grateful. And boring days, your grandma was right, they are some of the more peaceful ones in retrospect. And on boring days they are not boring when I get to read your wonderful books!
Yes, it was pretty terrifying, Carol, but he’s on the mend now. We really have NO idea how he got it–he rides public transportation into Boston every day, and of course staph infections live on our skin and just need an excuse to enter the blood stream, like a cut–they do tend to pool in injury sites. I’m so glad my books help you pass the time! Thank you so much for being so supportive.
I’m so very glad he’ll be fine, and he’ll be in my thoughts as well. Take time off if you can so that Robert can help your husband heal properly, and don’t forget to heal you spirit, too. You’ve just had your own scare of your life!
Well-wishes to the whole Family!
Catie (Emily)
Robert is doing a great job!
Holly, it is so true, that ones love and the beating of their heart in unison with yours is what is most precious of all, in life. I just told my husband that tonight, I would rather be just us, than famous, either one of us, and live a simple life life creating together what we believe are beautiful things. Hope all is well now, and that your husband Dan returns to good health. Best of wishes, Donna
Thank you for those kind thoughts, Donna!
Dear Holly, I can ID with Dan’s problems and feel the relief (Jeff said he told you about my problems). Hope you both stay out of these problems! Love, Pete
Oh, Uncle Pete, yes, Jeff DID tell me what’s going on–I am so sorry! I’ll give you a call soon. Miss you! Love!
Omigosh, Holly. What a story. Scary! I love the way you wrote it. .. and your last line – absolute truth.
A superlative and lovingly written essay, and as you know so relevant to me, Holly. I am so relieved for Dan and you that they caught this infection in time and am sending Dan healing energy and my wishes for a speedy recovery. Also, I’m now heeding your grandmother’s most wise advice and praying for boring days without any ‘until it’s not’ surprises.
Warmest regards,
Jeff
PS This was a must share essay for my facebook page.
Thank you so much, Jeff. Your kind words helped make my day brighter!